House of Resource
Getting Ruthless
by Ruth Waddy on August 24th, 2013

Who's afraid of a button hole?
I'm working on a commission for a blazer, which I modestly project may be completed around the time of the next ice age; mainly because I lack the intestinal fortitude to risk sullying  my handy work by impaling it with six, evenly spaced, perfectly aligned holes.
I imagine that the first button hole was the contrivance of a clever cave woman , whose spastic partner, overcome by adrenaline and chocolate covered espresso beans, riddled his hunt with excessive stabbings that resulted in a hardy meal, but a sieve-like hide.  Our intrepid cave girl wrapped a few inches of intestine around a saber tooth button, and we're talking Seville Row.
I do not have such an advantage.
I should have made the holes early on, before I got invested.  But now that I've spent the better part of my most vital years applying intricate designs to the fabric, I feel like a soldier who has traversed enemy lines.  A soldier who is pulling himself along by his one remaining limb.  A soldier who must lob six hand grenades onto a target the size of a termite in order to achieve victory.  By God I can do this!
I prepare the areas for incision with the ritualistic calm of Samurai performing Hara-kiri.  I steady my breath, and down a handful of a chocolate covered espresso beans...

Posted in August 2013    Tagged with no tags


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